Mexico. Puerto Vallarta. Where have you been all my life! I mean, if ever there was a place to blow off some steam, rejuvenate, rediscover my mojo and just get fucking crazy, this is the place to do it!
I’m with my best friend, he sucks at catching flights so this adventure starts with us running to the gate. Worth it. Who doesn’t like being greeted at the arrival airport with tequila shots! After listening to the tour operators “hustle” us for a bit and getting another shot in, we leave without booking and in to one of many taxis waiting outside to go to the resort. I mean we live in Africa! From one third world country to another the hustle is the same (not the politically correct term for an ELDC, but..), and we’re seasoned travelling ballers, haha!
So the marina and surrounding areas are where all the action is. Restaurants and bars, etc. After exploring we find a great expensive looking and happening restaurant to kick start our night (http://sonoragrillprime.com) And make a reservation for dinner in a few hours…
You walk up to this place and to your left is one of the longest outdoor bars I’ve seen! And there’s a DJ right there too. Our table isn’t ready, stand to be served while being served drinks, that works. Black label it is! Outdoor seating. Behind it on deck & indoor seating and to the right outdoor smoking seating, that’s us. Please be seated.
More drinks! At this point we realise we should have just bought a bottle. Anyway, 2 starters, 2 Fantastic steak dinners with extra sides and 2 desserts and what was probably a bottle of black label whisky was around $200 USD. What?! Your dollar is going the extra mile in PV.
I won’t lie, the second half of this night is kinda blurry. Was it a bar/strip club? I dunno, it was a nice place though! We got a booth. We order another bottle of Black and a few jaegerbombs to spice things up. The bouncers then ask us to pick any girls in the club and they’ll Probably join us! I mean, we felt like the eye candy. It must be noted women in PV are GORGEOUS!
We finally find a couple hotties that can speak some English (my high school Spanish is all but non existent) and the rest is history. Drink. Dance. Talk some shit. Mention a nice hotel with a Jacuzzi on the balcony overlooking the ocean. Add to that the bouncer hooking you up with whatever party favours you want and Ace the Rockstar is back. Ace is my uninhibited auto pilot that will do almost anything! True, shallow, party lifestyle happiness comes from doing a line off a hotties gorgeous tits and/or ass, so much fun. It is what it is after the last 3 years of my life. Douche move: quote Tupac; “Only God can judge me”. But how do we top this epic first night?!