I dont stutter. I mutter. Under my voice... But What is the difference when a lack of confidence provides blanket cover. It started when I was young. I was brown in a white school in the 90s, creating an environment where blending in to the rest of them was cool. Can you imagine this is … Continue reading International Stutter Day
Its been months since my last entry, so much good and bad has happened. An old flame rekindled, surviving business and gvmt witch hunts that almost put me in jail, stopping training and recently starting again, fighting through my eternal battle of controlling addictive social habits that I'm finally conquering... Yet none of these important … Continue reading Heart’s shattered, where’s the super glue.
I had to walk away. I was spiralling, again... I really don't have any faith we will get back together. It aches inside but I need to prepare myself for that fact. All it took was getting back in the gym after 3 weeks to have a moment of clarity. Sweat out the toxins and … Continue reading Is risking it for Love, worth it?
I did it again. I fell for a pretty little thing with a larger than life personality but young and still trying to figure her shit out. There just wasn't enough space in her mind and heart to maintain a healthy relationship. There was only so long before my heart sitting in limbo could keep … Continue reading Another Piece of my Heart Given Away
4 days of ridiculous extravagance. I knew the family was wealthy, but nothing prepared me for what my boy had in store for us. From amazing dinners (truffle shaved mac n cheese and tiramisu were super highlights) to beautiful events, each ceremony was breath taking. Money really does buy you the best, but then again … Continue reading In Cannes for a wedding, But…
It's 2am. If I went to bed right now it would be an early night. I'm not doing anything important. Drowning thoughts with the tv on, surfing the net and social media, realising I don't really care for any of it. Thoughts of tomorrow are fleeting, I'm looking for a reason to wake up earlier … Continue reading Suppressing Demons; walking parallel to the right path.
Where do I begin? Should I even? The topic of healthy living and working out and clean eating has been exhausted. But I wish I read more about the actual struggle between that and those like me who know or are known by practically everyone when you go out. Party like a rockstar indeed. Socialite? … Continue reading A clash of Lifestyles; Nocturnal Social vs Zen Healthy & Jiu Jutsu.
Almost two years since being cheated on and the divorce. Hence no hesitation in enjoying a disconnected lust with many beautiful women, no remorse. The satisfaction and continual instant gratification now slowly becomes an empty hollow, filled with rising undealt sorrow and lonliness. It all of a sudden became meaningless. Time heals all as the soul … Continue reading Healing scars with Intimacy
Those who truly know me know that I love exotic women. My personality attracts them too, especially those of Latina descent, so the fact that I just started dating a Cuban girl in Africa is awesome! Some may find it awkward to date someone whose dated a friend or two, but this city is small. … Continue reading Dating, the Game & Mamacita’s Fire.
So as I share and catalogue my travels and eventually get around to deeper and or meaningful thoughts and encounters, there's just so much happening in the present that I want to put out there. Blogging is therapeutic. Doing so anonymously even more.. Van City girl (she knows me well post) is coming back to … Continue reading Love, Dating, Trust. Not necessarily in that order.
After 6 years of creating sweet memories on or around my birthday I find myself longing for your companionship. What the fuck is wrong with me? You hurt me so deeply. Yet, here I am. Being human and having feelings most guys don't ever like to share or talk about. I need that Ace auto … Continue reading Marrakech. My 1st Birthday, 2016. Part 1.
So, i forgot to mention in my last post that the walk through the marina the day before had some seriously interesting results. It may have been a dangerous Mexican setup or it was going to be an epic afternoon not soon forgotten. He's a travel agent at the light house on the marina board … Continue reading Mexico 2016. Up Rockstar ante! Part 2.
Mexico. Puerto Vallarta. Where have you been all my life! I mean, if ever there was a place to blow off some steam, rejuvenate, rediscover my mojo and just get fucking crazy, this is the place to do it! I'm with my best friend, he sucks at catching flights so this adventure starts with us … Continue reading Mexico 2016. Awaken Rockstar! Part 1.
I want to start by asking, "can you imagine.." but I would never wish upon anyone what I just went through leading up to my divorce. I do however hope one may commit to traveling the world and seeing new cities and enjoying new experiences, it's not just amazing for obvious reasons, it is therapy … Continue reading Vancouver 2016. She knows me well.
My first post. There is a want, rather a need to explain the origin story of who and what I am today. But did I have the balls for such introspect? One that truly allows you to make any real sense out if all? I want to free myself of these mental and emotional chains. … Continue reading Opening up. Voicing deep scars.